I start my post grad classes today. Nothing fancy! After the rude shock of not getting admitted in either DU or AUD, I am back at home. After the snatches of freedom in Delhi, I am back to being solitary in my hometown. Life comes a full circle. I am again fat, I am again living only because of my bedroom, but what eats me up is the fear that I won’t amount to anything. I am a witty and intelligent person, but I am lazy. I need a win, and I need it desperately. My anxiety levels need to be raised. Something must be done.
Update: I feel calmer now. I have finally started studying, reading a lot, more than before and I am managing my life. While I am still not happy with my whereabouts, I am confident of getting out of here in two years time. Ph.D is where I am headed. Brigham Young or York University is where I want to go.
I am reading more, I feel comfortable at home, I have good food at my disposal. I just need to get thin again.